Full-body scanner's 99.9% threat-elimination overshadowed by mild insecurities; genitalia embarrassment.

"Hey! In 1992, we invented a device that can significantly reduce invasive physical searches, and virtually eliminate every threat posed by terrorists on airplanes."

"Really? How does it work?"

"Well, it either uses millimeter wave scanner, or backscatter X-ray technology. One makes a skeletal, stick-outline of the body; the other creates a lumpy, vague virtual image of the person. The images are  both highly ambiguous, and only your closest friends and family would have even a slight chance of identifying the image as you. However, almost any foreign object can be detected."

"That sounds inappropriate."

"How so?"

"Well, I'm a woman, and it the image would depict my naked breasts. This is not desirable."

"This is partially true. However, the millimeter wave scanner would not produce this depiction. It's a skeletal, stick-outline, as I stated before. The backscatter X-ray technique would depict your breasts, in a very distorted, lumpy fashion. Your face would be nearly unrecognizable. Wearing a tank top would be significantly more exposing."

"Why should my breasts be exposed? Your penis would also be exposed."

"Well, you're about to board a flight on an airplane. Sometimes, people hijack airplanes or terrorize them using weapons that they bring on board. If this happens, you would most likely die. These body scanners virtually eliminate the possibility of sneaking weapons onto flights, and you will be much safer and probably won't die. In response to my penis being exposed, I'm willing to deal with a TSA official getting a 3 second look at my highly-distorted genitalia so that I won't die."

"It seems invasive."

"Is being patted down a better option for you?"

"No, that's physically abusive."

"Ok. How about standing in 3 hour lines while we wand everyone? This will catch metal objects, but not objects made from other materials. It's not nearly as safe."

"This is also not desirable."

"Right. These scans are much more effective, and take 15 seconds to perform."

"What if someone puts my picture on the Internet?"

"The images are not transmitted over a wireless connection, they are moved via physical wire to a computer and monitor in a closed room. TSA officials view these images. They are then deleted."

"That sounds pretty secure. But what if someone used a USB stick to save my image and put it on the Internet for everyone to view?"

"There are no drives on this special computer that would allow the transmission of images. Also, that's ridiculous."

"I guess. I still feel like this is invasive."

"It IS invasive. That's what a search is. It's less invasive than the previous methods of screening, however. You aren't touched at all, and you aren't subjected to wanding in public while people watch you. Remember, you're getting on a huge airplane and you might die if we don't do this. It's hardly an inconvenience."

"I suppose. I'm going to sue the TSA for an invasion of privacy."

"Why?"

"This is invasive."

"I don't think you understand. You might die. You're going to be screened, one way or another.  One, possibly two people will see thousands of these images everyday. The images are then deleted. You will not be ridiculed, or remembered. But you will land safely at your destination, alive. If you are blown up on an airplane, you will not be alive to enjoy your privacy."

"This is not desirable."

"Right."

Victims of stranded cruise ship come together to find hope; healing.

"We have not had a hot cup of coffee in four days," –Fahizah Alim, 26, of Sacramento. Stranded on Carnival cruise ship.

“The worst things were the lines and really not being fulfilled with the food the way you wanted to be," –Janell Kennedy, stranded on Carnival cruise ship.

“On the last day, nerves grew raw” –Anonymous passenger describing the rising tensions experienced on the final day aboard.

     Oh, passengers of the stranded Carnival cruise ship, our hearts and sympathies pour out to you as your harrowing ordeal draws to a close. The horror, desperation, hopelessness, and terror you must have experienced during these endless four days on a luxury cruise ship, while eating only hot dogs, salads, cold cut sandwiches, crab, and cold drinks, is unimaginable.

     We immediately drew comparisons to the trapped Chilean miners. How you must have envied them, and the relative luxury they enjoyed, while you waited for almost 12 hours for the bathrooms to work again, and stared longingly at the out-of-service whirlpools. The sadness and longing for home you must have experienced while you walked dejectedly back to your king-size, pillow-top beds is almost more than I can endure.

     The injustices that were committed against you also bring to mind the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. The negligence of the Carnival cruise crew, to simply allow an electrical fire to start, is inexcusable. The oil can be cleaned up, the wildlife will flourish again, but the trauma and agony in your hearts and minds may never heal.

     You men and women are the true definition of American Heroes. Now, it’s our turn to show you the compassion and dedication we can muster when we come together within our communities. We will show you the meaning of hope, charity, and compassion. Counselors will be waiting to guide you through the post traumatic stress disorder you must certainly be suffering, and a monument with the names of all of the victims of this atrocity will certainly be erected in your honor.

You will never be forgotten. Hot coffee will also be provided.